Self-Care

Self-Care

I’m sad to say that I have been the humbled student of this subject over and over again. The more tired I am, the angrier I am. When my cup is filled, I am far more loving. This has been a difficult lesson for me to realize: when I’m taking care of me, I’m taking care of them. Or in other words, I’m a kind nurturing Mother as I take care of myself.

Self-care is important as a parent. If it’s not strictly insisted upon, it will never happen. Mothers have been known to wash their hair once a week, leave dirty stained clothes on all day, and shower infrequently. Fathers have been known to live on energy drinks from sleepless nights, and go to work the following morning. Frozen, fast, and easy food is the extent of healthy eating. Marriages are challenged, health is taxed, and sometimes even accidents happen under such strenuous parenting circumstances as having a newborn baby.

People probably wonder why parents wear fanny packs, circles under their eyes, and seem to let go of all things self-care sometimes. The truth is, parents used to take great care of how they dress. Their hair used to be in the current decade of fashion, and they even spent time working out, or reading a book. It's not that parents don't care anymore. When parenthood starts off with being tired from a difficult pregnancy, a long labor usually at night, followed by being awakened all night the following months to feed the baby....it's no wonder that parents are a little tired right from the starting line. Taking time for yourself is like learning how to walk again. It was easy before when it was only you to care for. When there are four people to get fed, read scriptures to, dressed and ready for the gym, it’s a whole other ball game to go.

Elder Marion G. Romney said, "Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak." President Marion G. Romney "The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance" (Links to an external site.) October 1982 General Conference

What we soon realize is how one cares for themselves, is how their children will most likely care for themselves, at least for a portion of their lives. Intelligence is passed onto children by living our daily lives. Children can learn to cook, clean, work, and always be learning and reading. They can learn how to serve others. Children can follow their parents examples of seeking higher payed positions based on what parents expect of themselves and their kids. Most importantly, children can learn to rely on God when shown how to be spiritually reliant on him. This comes while children watch their parents say their prayers, thank God for their blessings, and read from the scriptures.

Spiritual self-care is essential to teach the next generation. Sometimes parents can work to improve their own time spent with God every day. Kids can see our example and see how important it is to do the same. Mother Teresa said, “Spread love wherever you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” My Mother was good at this while I was a teenager. I remember when I was a young teenager, I was very unkind to my Mom. I had a destructive personality, but I was always amazed that she was there to listen to me. She had a spiritual strength that I could feel. The bricks of her soul I had knocked down only the day before with my degrading comments and temper were always reconstructed the next day. I later realized it was her reading the book of Mormon every day and writing in her journal that had replenished her spirit to be good Mother to me, although I didn’t deserve it. I’ll always be grateful for her staying strong and loving me during that time.

In short, when taking care of ourselves-without being selfish- we are teaching our kids how to love themselves. They intuitively understand that they are worth taking care of themselves. The older generation has so much power in teaching the younger generation that its’ ok to invest mentally, spiritually, and physically in themselves, the more they can contribute to everyone around them.

References

President Marion G. Romney "The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance" (Links to an external site.) October 1982 General Conference